![]() “You’re able to use your imagination, create a scene, role play, and tap into themes that are interesting, like submission and domination.” “I like to call it ‘power play’ because, to me, that is at the heart of BDSM,” says sex expert Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist, sexuality counselor, and author of She Comes First. Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT is a New York-based psychologist specializing in sex and relationships. Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd, is a certified sex educator for Lovehoney and currently working on a PhD in Human Sexuality. Jess O’Reilly, PhD, is a sexologist, host of the Podcast, and author of The New Sex Bible. Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, is a licensed psychotherapist, sexuality counselor, and the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First. Holly Richmond, PhD, LMFT, is a somatic psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life. Meet the Experts: Gloria Brame, PhD, is a clinical sexologist, sex therapist, and best-selling author of Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. “It stands for the three basic terms used to refer to this kind of sexuality, which is bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism.”Įach of these might sound scary in their own right, but because they rely on a judgement-free zone where communication about your desires and boundaries come first, BDSM can actually be the safest (and most fun) kind of sex you can have, says Holly Richmond, PhD, LMFT, a somatic psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life. “BDSM is an umbrella term that the BDSM community came up with to help us unite as one,” says Gloria Brame, PhD, a clinical sexologist, sex therapist, and best-selling author of Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. But it's important for beginners to understand that it’s actually none of those things. The sex practice is often accused of being physically or mentally harmful, something that only survivors of abuse embrace, or abnormally kinky. Few things in life are as misunderstood as BDSM.
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